About to Be Served With a 2nd All Nighter

This has to be frustrating. After spending an average of about 12 hours brainstorming, throwing ideas, OR modeling in Gloria Jeans Eastwood and the C5 branch of McDonald's, the solution remains beyond our reach. I sure hope we don't have to scrap the thing completely, otherwise that would supremely suck. In any case though, we have a second all nighter coming and the thought of it alone does wonders in sapping the lights out of my already fragile state of mind.

If only programs could write themselves.
If only the blank sheet didn't seem so daunting.
If only the ideas would start coming already.

The pressure is on, no doubt. Nearly all the other groups we asked are either done, or at some vestige of completion. I just hope this doesn't drag on til the wee hours of the morning again.

Pagod na Ako

8 hours of hardcore OR and counting

Nobody Said It Was Easy

Enter hell week. You're pressed for time. You're juggling deadlines by the tips of your nails. And you wonder about the seemingly terse monotony of it all. Wonder if somehow, by some brilliant stroke of fortuity you would find and trace the yarn out of the labyrinth that is your hell hole.

Yet in the paleness of this sordid milieu even the act of finding color is an uphill battle. Notice the grayscaled Hues of the world as they hurl their a posteriori's, their it-will-have-some-use-eventually crap like a broken record spitting diatribes in a parlor.

But still it remains elusive.

Like the solitude of your dreams.
Like sand, bereft of water, as it slips through your fingers and into itself once more.
Like the traces of our past and the meaning of its lore.

It's Gonna Be Quite a Long Day

Things to do:
1. Attend POM and OR Classes
2. Cram Bam's Hype Poster
3. Adman Photoshoot
4. Postprocess and Photoshop
5. All Nighter for the Superproject at Gloria Jeans Eastwood
6. Finish Philo Reading

Sunset Reflections of a Yacht at Bay

 

Manila Yacht Club

Taken with a Canon AE-1 ISO100

Of Bikes and Evergreens

 

A Shot of Manila Memorial

Taken with my Canon AE-1 ISO100

Rebirth

I have come to the point where once again I find myself in the gutters, having to claw my way back up inch by inch. Perhaps the only thing different this time around is that it's not the grades that I have to fetch out of these maddening depths. No. It can't be that, of course. Those days were supposedly done, buried six feet under like many a faded memory. In any case though, it's more of a crevice now. A benign crack on the wall, if you will.

To fall into the well. To bid the bedazzled, a fleeting adieu. To seek, and in my blindness find inaccessible light.

Quit! Give up! You're Beaten! -D.H. Groberg

This poem is amazing. It's so close to home.

QUIT! GIVE UP! YOU’RE BEATEN!

D.H. Groberg

I

Quit! Give up! You're beaten!"

They shout at me and plead.

"There's just too much against you now;

This time you can't succeed!"

And as I start to hang my head

In front of failure's face,

My downward fall is broken by

The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will

As I recall that scene;

For just the thought of that short race

Rejuventates my being.

II

A children's race- young boy, young men,

How I remember well.

Excitement, sure! But also fear;

It wasn't hard to tell.

They all lined up so full of hope

Each thought to win that race.

Or tie for first, or if not that,

At least take second place.

And fathers watched from off the side

Each cheering for his son.

And each boy hoped to show his dad

That he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they went

Young hearts and hopes afire.

To win and be the hero there

Was each young boy's desire

And one boy in particular

Whose dad was in the crowd

Was running near the lead and thought:

"My dad will be so proud!"

But as he speeded down the field

Across a shallow dip,

The little boy who thought to win

Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself "Quit! Give up! You're beaten!"

They shout at me and plead.

"There's just too much against you now;

This time you can't succeed!"

So down he fell and with him hope

-He couldn't win now-

Embarrassed, sad he only wished

To disappear somehow

But as he fell his dad stood up

And showed his anxious face,

Which to the boy so clearly said:

"Get up and win the race!"

He quickly rose, no damage done

-Behind a bit, that's all-

And ran with all his mind and might

To make up for his fall

So anxious to restore himself

-To catch up and to win-

His mind went faster than his legs;

He slipped and fell again!

He wished then he had quit before

With only one disgrace

"I'm hopeless as a runner now;

I shouldn't try to race."

But in the laughing crowd he searched

And found his father's face;

That steady look which said again:

"Get up and win the race!"

So he jumped up to try again

-Ten yards behind the last-

"If I'm to gain those yards," he thought,

"I've got to move real fast."

Exerting everything he had

He gained eight or ten,

But trying so hard to catch the lead

He slipped and fell again!

Defeat! He lied there silently

-A tear dropped from his eye-

"There's no sense in running anymore:

Three strikes: I'm out! Why try?"

The will to rise had disappeared;

All hope had fled away;

So far behind, so error-prone:

A loser all the way.

"I've lost, so what's the use," he thought

"I'll live with my disgrace."

But then he thought about his dad

Who soon he'd have to face.

"Get up," an echo sounded low.

"Get up and take your place;

You were not meant for failure here.

Get up and win the race."

"With borrowed will get up," it said,

You haven't lost at all.

For winning is no more than this:

To rise each time you fall."

So up he rose to run once more,

And with new commit

He resolved that win or lose

At least he wouldn't quit

So far behind the others now,

-The most he'd ever been-

Still he gave it all he had

And ran as though to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling;

Three times he rose again:

Too far behind to hope to win

He still ran to the end.

They cheered the winning runner

As he crossed the line first place.

Head high, and proud, and happy;

No falling, no disgrace.

But when the fallen youngster

Crossed the line last place,

The crowd gave him the greater cheer,

For finishing the race.

And even though he came in last

With head bowed low, unproud,

You would have thought he'd won the race

To listen to the crowd.

And to his dad he sadly said,

"I didn't do too well."

"To me, you won," his father said.

"You rose each time you fell."

III

And when things seem dark and hard

And difficult to face,

The memory of that little boy

Helps me in my race.

For all of life is like that race.

With ups and downs and all.

And all you have to do to win,

Is rise each time you fall.

"Quit! Give up, you're beaten!"

They still shout in my face.

But another voice within me says:

"GET UP AND WIN THE RACE!" 

 

***

Dad, I really miss you...Rest in Peace

:D

Tired, but this day was lovely nonetheless. :)

Bum Day

I shall write about the happenings of today and yesterday, tomorrow. :))

Creativity, Please Tear My Boredom Asunder

'And should I not with utmost yearning seek
To bring to life that creature most unique?' - Friedrich Nietzche

I have vowed to keep a new idea logbook to keep my mind from stagnating this summer. In it I plan to jot down anything and everything that catches my fancy: doodles (although I have a sketchpad for this purpose), lyrics and rhymes, innovations, Adsense keywords and new business ideas.

I wanna get the chance to perform again and/or do something creative this season before the first semester upsets the joy that is this summer.

I want to be able to reach my threshold, and stretch my limits as far as I can push it.

I have this overwhelming urge to go all Adidas right now.

But my oh my, if only I wasn't a tad bit too distracted lately. I really hope that whatever these things are get sorted out soon as I have been quite the worrywart about this (and believe me my OR and ITM grades are the least of my worries). haha How these things pile up at intervals however, never ceases to amaze me.

Hmm. I'm sorry. 'Nuff said.

Anyway, it's Kevin's gimmick thing later along with Tessa, Ranny, Yna, Aileen, and Janel (anyone else). haha I wonder, as I always do, where the wind will take us now. :)) Somewhere devoid of those damned blueshirts please, since I am without license once again for the second time in three weeks. Freestyle jaaaam? :)) For the unfamiliar, you have got to hear our most awesome collabs along with AJ Perez. Lets make a record, please!


Oh well, gotta go folks. Breakfast and outing up ahead!

Average GPA and LSAT grade for NYU

Question: What are the grade point averages and LSAT scores of your students?
The 75% and 25% of the most recent entering class are 3.9 and 3.6 for undergraduate GPA, and 173 and 169 for LSAT score, respectively.

Deads. hahaha :))

(Source: http://www.law.nyu.edu/admissions/jdadmissions/applicants/jdapplicationfaq/index.htm)

Don't Know Why

This is still perhaps one of the most beautiful sad songs I've ever heard.

Don't Know Why by Norah Jones

I waited 'til I saw the sun
I don't know why I didn't come
I left you by the house of fun
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

When I saw the break of day
I wished that I could fly away
Instead of kneeling in the sand
Catching teardrops in my hand

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Out across the endless sea
I would die in ecstasy
But I'll be a bag of bones
Driving down the road along

My heart is drenched in wine
But you'll be on my mind
Forever

Something has to make you run
I don't know why I didn't come
I feel as empty as a drum
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come
I don't know why I didn't come

Fortuitous Fortuitous Fortuitous

Once again, I am truly floored by the ability of Chance to kick you in the gut consecutively.

On hindsight, I better hope the universe conspired to equalize this conundrum as well.

...

Hmm... but if it's any consolation, at least I was able to do a great deal of OJT attire shoppin today: 4 Long sleeved polos and 3 black slacks, among other stuff. But the food today (we dined at Megamall's El Pollo Loco for lunch) wasn't particularly great though. The chicken was hella bland, the tortilla was as hard as a rock, and the spanish rice was arctic, not to mention the fact that they gave a whole new meaning to the term 1 cup, if by that it meant shrunk Hobbit servings.

Argh.

Oh, and the trip to the doctor was far from soothing. I have to come back for this kidney test next week!

 On a better note however, at least I learned one piece today on the piano (after a couple hours of intense practice, that is): RENT's Seasons of Love. I LOVE IT. I just wish I could learn how to sing properly so I could sing along to it as well :))

Anyway I'm beat, and I have another LOONG day tomorrow.

Ciao!

Cheers to Summer!

So much for blogging everyday. I missed posting yesterday's entry by a heartbeat past midnight. Oh well, to put things briefly, it's been an awesome and rather eventful two days.

Yesterday, I got accepted to both The Arc Group Incorporated and SM Investments Corp. Honestly though, weighing both offers, I'd pick The Arc Group hands down coz of these following fine reasons:

1. The ad agency is based in Chateau Verde, a 5 minute walk from my crib. A huge huge plus, since SMIC is located all the way in MOA (which is a world away from where I live, although I love the picturesque view of the Bay Area)
2.  I am genuinely impressed by their portfolio. Who would've know that this group was the one who spearheaded the First Day High/Funk and the Axe Call Me Campaigns
3. I'm not hatin on SMIC but I think The Arc Group Incorporated is more creative (sorry Aileen! and future SMIC interns heehee).
4. The venue is close to the ISAS Conservatory (it's a street away at Balimbing St.), meaning it'll be easier for me to attend piano lessons. Random plugging: for those who want to have voice/ballet/piano/violin/*insertmusicalinstrument* lessons in this school, check out http://www.dbcisas.com
5. I get allowance! :)

Moving on though, today I got to get my hands wet registering the L300 for the first time. It went pretty fast: an hour, give and take? After this, I drove to Ateneo for gym, but finding Moro without electricity, I took to going to the LS clinic for my medical clearance (OJT)...

...which was completely FAIL by the way. It turns out, I had to get two tests, and a chest xray BEFORE I could even get cleared!

Soooo I made my way to Megamall's Megaclinic, had everything done and pigged out at Mang Inasal. Strangely, I seem to plateau at 5 cups now! A far cry from the 8 cup threshold I maintained throughout December. Maaan, I need to pack more pounds! If only it could be easier to!

 After this I headed on to Dayap to hang with my grandmother and pick up my bro. I love our chats, Lola. I wish I could come by there more though, when my schedule permits! Don't worry Lola, come law school I'll visit ya more often. :)

Oh I failed to mention how I GOT CAUGHT FOR MY "SMOKE BELCHING VEHICLE" AWHILE AGO. Money-hungry, racketeering assholes!  I just had my van checked this morning, you retards. :-|

What sucks though was that I forgot my receipt!

Siiiiigh...

Well, apart from that isolated incident, it's been a great two days. And oh, my shoulder's a whole lot better now as well!

Cheers to summer! :)

Getting some Tao going

I would never have figured that harnessing my water element was extremely hard. :))

Strain Confirmed

Damn. After getting the confirmation this afternoon at Moro that my rotator cuff was strained, I now have to have it checked again this Thursday by Doc Canlas. Meaning: no gym/strenuous exercise for the meantime. :( I hate how the pain resurfaces at times when I feel the urge to train heavily or be active.

I guess I have to amuse myself with books and doodles while I'm recuperating.

On another note, I AM NEVER ALLOWING MYSELF TO GET CAUGHT IN GLOBAL CITY AGAIN. Man, the streets leading to the Taguig City Hall were stick-narrow and parking was extremely scarce. :-| If only they had a parking lot akin to Makati's or Pasig's respective City Halls. 

But hey, it's another thing charged to experience. I'd upload the picture of my first ticket if my laptop wasn't as faulty as it is.

Moving on though, I have a bunch of interviews lined up this week. I hope they turn out well. :) One of them is located nearby at Valle 1's Chateau Verde. Oh if I could only remember what the company's name was. They called me awhile back, and all I could remember was "show up at 3:30 with your updated resume. OK. thanks. Bye."

Hmmm.

It would be great though if I get in there. It saves me time and gas. AND it's just a couple of streets away from Ma'am Irene's house (so I could prolly have piano lessons in the afternoon then?). Speaking of which, I really have to brush up on my piano/music skills. All these months of inactivity have caused my chops to gather the dust.

On a better note, it's cool to know that John D. Rockefeller used to spend countless hours at practice in piano as well (according to his biography). :)

Oh well. Save for the injury, this week is turning out better than I expected.

Bummed Out

I really wish I could be less pathetic at times. :(

Rotator Cuff Agony

This is driving me nuts. I've been waking up every morning for the past three days to unbearable rotator cuff pain.

How wonderful.

After all these months of dormancy, it just has to resurface like this again.

I need some Alaxan :-|

Sense of Urgency: On!

Given the intense heat of late, and the usual summer inclination of overthinking in medias res, I have come to the conclusion that there can be no more doubt about the title of this entry. Rather, it speaks for itself: I am without an internship; and still without a business (save for Google Adsense, which really doesn't amount to much, YET) to sustain my future law school plans and to keep me from financial idleness and dependency throughout the schoolyear.

To a certain extent, it's even more pronounced nowadays given the facts that: (1) 1 out of every 2 people I ask have internships already; (2) I have no final offers yet, let alone new calls; (3) Law School will be staring me in the face exactly one year from now (btw I'm excited for Quito's proposition. Invite more people, and then let's meet up to plan); and plus (4) I've been reading on the lives of these historical tycoons who planted the seeds of their respective businesses when they were around my age.

*Sigh*

But although the pressure of this sticky situation is inevitably on, I still believe that the Summer of 2010 will be one for keeps. :)

Fully Booked Finds

So yeah, just returned from my book shopping spree (I can't even remember the last time I had one! 1st year college maybe?) and I'm proud to say that I strongly feel that I picked the right combination to keep my mind from ogling the dust this summer.

(1) Titan: The Life of John D. Rockefeller Sr. by Ron Chernow

(2) The Birth of Tragedy by Friedrich Nietzche

(3) The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli

(4) The Communist Manifesto by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels

Ateneo Law Curriculum

Oh yeah, this is the shit. After this schoolyear, I gotta face four more years of the music. haha It is by all means daunting but I'm tremendously stoked for it. I seriously don't see myself in the corporate setting after grad.

Now however, I have to find a way to send myself through law school. haha. Scholarships? Google Adsense? Part timing at Coffee Bean? Making a kick-ass business on the sideline? Who knows. :))

Burn Relief Days

How I miss those times! Guys, when are we jamming again? haha

Summer Ramblings

After being immersed in the loony bin that was the second semester, I am more than glad that summer has finally arrived. For once, I can take nice, long naps (undisturbed by the cacophony that is my cellphone alarm, signalling the end of my peaceful rest, and the beginning of whatever task I had at the moment); indulge in many a guilty pleasure; train and bum at intervals; catch up on the latest books and movies; and devote time to plain old R&R.

Lately however, I've been finding myself in a fix. I mean really! It's been quite a stretch to believe that damn, this is my last summer as a college student; that come June, I step into the university no longer as a bug-eyed freshman/soph/junior, but as a bona fide senior (and still in ME at that!).

Sigh..

It cracks me up looking back at all those times: (1) being slaughtered in Acc20/35, Ma151, Fin105, QMT109 only to make one giant comeback after another; (2) getting kicked momentarily out of my course, and coming back after a bunch of disgruntled Fil14 students and I mass-appealed our "dismal" grades (half the class got a D! c'mon); (3) experiencing the hell that was SMEG sem, and coming through it alive; (4) going through the shitty wait and baited breath which accompanies the last few minutes before AISIS releases the grades; (5) hanging with friends (new and old! haha); (6) meeting all the wonderful and talented people in Blue Symphony, ASLA, DSLD, Track, MEA and more!

It's truly been an eventful three years. I hope this next one will be equally as entertaining!

On another note, I have decided to push through with Law School. :)

In a Nutshell

Visita Iglesia today was exhausting.

My Summer Bucketlist: 50 things to do this summer

1. Go out on a completely new adventure and/or get lost somewhere
2. Relearn how to bike and cycle from Ateneo to Alabang and back
3. Cut my 5km time down to at least 20 minutes again and join more fun runs
4. Hermit mode with the Blue Symphony Executive Board
5. Write more songs with Kev and Aj :))
6. Freestyle Cypher sessions with Francis
7. Blue Symphony Rehearsals
8. FIND A DAMN OJT ALREADY
9. OJT wardrobe hunt
10. Jamming sessions with Milos Garcia
11. Afternoons/Evenings at Moro w/ Micah Bautista haha
12. Create a piece of art everyday and scan/post it when I have the time
13. Hang out with friends :)
14. Pleasure read through three books
15. Find out I passed OR2!!
16. Clean my room and toss out the useless stuff
17. Check out the National Museum!!
18. Connected to #6: learn how to rap haha
19. Make a plaster sculpture
20. Learn the piano score of Rent
21. Whole day reading fests at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf or Starbucks
22. Join an Open Mic
23. Blog or microblog every day
24. Start a new concrete/internet business
25. Learn PHP and C++
26. Get my first Adsense paycheck. heehee
27. Watch a movie
28. Family outings
29. Apologize to all those I need to say sorry to
30. Ponder the meaning of life
31. Make at least one person smile everyday
32. Attempt to beat the world record of having the most number of ferreros eaten in one minute! (ouch, my braces!) :))
33. Gain weight and pack some muscle mass
34. Reconnect with old friends!
35. Meet new people
36. Smile more often
37. Grow my hair
38. Join the Half Ironman team event with Gui hahahaha (ang mahal talaga eh)
39. More ted.com marathons
40. Scout for law scholarships
41. Migrate to Ubuntu
42. Get updated with the sitcoms
43. American Idol!
44. Sleep at least 8 hours a day
45. Vote!
46. Be more nationalistic
47. Start giving a shit more often
48. Dream bigger
49. Pray more
50. Live each day to the fullest :)

Happy Summer everyone! (except those in the JTA sem, in which case, Good Luck to ya'll)

A Pledge

This is it I guess.
There is absolutely no turning back.
No lame-ass excuses.
No half-baked crap.
None of these napkin promises:
Crumpled and pirouetting in concentric circles;
Smearing the walls in descent.

Will You Allow Yourself to be Lost Forever?

Like all Fr. Arcilla's students (and former students), I was faced with this line, among others, more times than I could possibly remember. Most likely the effect of the question being hammered relentlessly on us with his trademark modulated voice, I have felt the gravity of it more than once. It hits me each time I become acutely aware of how much time I tend to be wasting, of all the unflinching idleness, or of significant moments wasted.

Straitjackets and Loony Bins

With barely two more weeks to go, I unnervingly have to cram the following:
(1) Five reflection papers for ITM110,
(2) A research paper for the aforementioned subject,
(3) Four philo articles,
(4) A presentation for theology,
(5) Four theo readings,
(6) Our LS100 paper on CFC,
(7) A case/LT for LS100, and
(8)  UNDERSTAND QUEUING THEORY AND RELEARN PREVIOUS OR LESSONS FROM SCRATCH.

What I Really Think About The Last 2 Weeks of School

Please tell me there's an end to these sordid days. Far too long I've been dragging myself to school with only the half-assed conviction of somehow snatching something essential and useful (for me at least), instead of an innane melting pot of facts and figures I feel totally divorced with. I wake up to each day and long to ponder the meaning of life, the intricacies of living; to find that solitary ignition that will singe the fringes of this clockwork routine; to seek and rediscover my passion, dulled by my inability to make use of it in this highly contradictory setting, and gathering dust.

But what the hell happens?

I am weighed down by the heaviness of the unending pile of requirements, of lectures I'd rather not attend, of the demands thrown upon thrd year Management Engineering students, of issues of note and other distractions. I feel the contraction of a world slowly robbed of light, like a listless fellow thrown into an abysmal well, second by second losing sight of that which is truly essential.

I am losing the ability to keep silent. To listen. With everything happening the way it is, my mind is aflux even in the most opportune moments for reflection. But I've come to discover that even in this most sordid state, the countless aphorisms I have been exposed to throughout the years have not lost their luster; that I still have the balls to believe that there is something more to life than the routinary demands of this system and that moreover, that there is something I can do about it.

Sigh.

I can't wait for summer. :))